We all get problems in life. At times we cannot solve them on our own. That is why we publish the letters of our readers to get your help. You might have been in a similar situation. You may know the solution. Share your opinion with those, who need it.
“I have been with my new man for almost two years now after divorcing a bullying and violent husband some five years ago. This new man is a complete opposite of my ex; considerate, kind and patient. He tells me I am the best thing that has happened to him – except that he is a heavy drinker, and I supposed he must be on drugs.
Lately, he wants me to go out with him only and not with my friends who were unmarried and irresponsible. We don’t live together as I’m not ready for a repeat of the last experience I had with my ex. Most of the members of my family think I’m on a death wish going out with a low-life like him. But he seems to have a hold on me. I’ve threatened to leave him because of his drinking, but he scares me when he always threatens: ‘If I can’t have you – no one will…”
Why this woman got herself into trouble again after the hell, she’s been through? Obviously, the problem is not in men. She says that the second man is different, but it’s not true. She deceives herself by saying that. So, what is the problem of the girls, who get violent men over and over again?
For one, she did not wait after the first break up. People who are afraid to stay single do not know or value themselves. They heavily rely on other people to boost their self-esteem.
Secondly, it’s a sick pattern that ruins your life. They set their standards too low and become willing to date men who are not worthy of them. She does not value herself enough to pick a better option. So, the only solution is to stop, break up with the jerk and spend time loving and knowing her own self. When you start to respect yourself, you naturally make a better choice.