- Single woman shared personal story on the pressures of having no boyfriends
- Contributor admitted she wanted the concept of relationship but not the actual one
- She revealed her family relationship deteriorated because she has no interests in having a boyfriend
For most human beings, relationships, especially the romantic ones, are considered life’s “most meaningful element” because it provide a source of deep fulfillment. However, if you are not interested on it, the society will then brand you as weird, strange or abnormal, just like how a Reddit contributor is feeling right now.
Based on the Reddit relationship post that KAMI obtained, a 28-year-old introvert with no interest in having boyfriends is having a major dilemma in her life. According to the post submitted by user 80prosec, her family is “super worried” because she has no boyfriend yet.
The writer admitted that she was shy and introverted so she haven’t gotten the opportunity to meet or go out with men. Even though at times her “singleness” made her feel lonely, it made her realize that she only liked the idea of having a relationship but not being into an actual relationship.
“I've always been shy and introverted. In university, I never went out much or really met guys at all,” she posted. “I was a bit sad because I saw my friends with their SOs and it made me feel lonely, but at the end of the day I realized that I wanted the IDEA of a relationship, not an actual relationship per se.”
“As an introvert, the thought of having to devote so much time and energy to one person made me feel really constrained,” the writer added.
Unfortunately, her disinterest in having a boyfriend is questioned by her family, particularly by her mom and grandparents. In fact, her family thinks it’s “unnatural” for a woman to not be in a relationship.
The writer’s dilemma became more complicated when her relationship status is always the center of her family’s attention. She admitted that her family is making her “feel ashamed” of herself.
Her idea to adopt at the age of 35 was also met with negative reactions. She also explained that she’s not a lesbian or asexual and revealed that she’s attracted to men.
Due to the fact that relationships are emotionally draining, her interest, desire or motivation to enter a relationship also died down. But because she loves her family so much, she wrote to ask for any advice on how she can make them understand her situation.
Because of the relatable context or premise of the story, netizens were quick to react and gave their pieces of advice. The most common advice from them is — Ms. Introvert should never allow her family to rule her life.
“Obviously it's your life and you can't let your family dictate how you should live your life,” the commenter wrote. “But, I would say: consider giving dating a try, not for your family but for yourself.”
“If you've never had a relationship, it's hard to make an informed decision that you don't want one, right? If you've tried it and you realize it's not for you, then just live your life and be happy,” the commenter added. “But if you dig in your heels against dating (like I did) because your family is pressuring you to date, then you're also inadvertently letting them dictate your life in a different way.”
Another reader/user also reacted that Ms. Introvert should be the one who takes control of her life, whether she likes being in a relationship or not.
“This may not be the most popular advice these days but I think you're going to have to accept your family is going to think you are weird for this,” the reader posted. “You should absolutely make it clear where you stand on this, it is your life and nobody else's, and you should ask for their acceptance / minding their own business.”
“However, this is a pretty unusual position and they're going to find it strange,” the user continued. “If this is what you want in life though, accept their befuddlement and live your best life.”
Meanwhile, it is important to set some boundaries between you and your family when it comes to your own life. But as Ms. Introvert tries to solve her problem with various pieces of advice, KAMI has a perfect video for those who are still single or chose to be single out there.
Check out the video below and for more choices, feel free to check out KAMI’s official YouTube channel.