In a recent post on the internet, a mother asked for advice regarding her son. She wanted to give him up for adoption.
At age 4, one would think that they would have at least made some form of connection. But the mother sadly said no. She had always struggled to bond with him.
As a mother of 4, the woman said that she found life not without it's challenges. To make things even harder, all her children were under the age of 5.
She explained that she was married, but that her 4-year-old son was from another man. It was this young boy that she wanted to give up for adoption.
The boy's father was very abusive, and sometimes even worse. She had no choice but to end their relationship and to take the child away when he was only 18 months old. The woman said that she held full custody over the boy and would not let his dad come near him.
But she felt that she and the boy could never bond. Even in the space of 4 years she could not manage to connect with him. It was in part because he had reminded her so much of his father. He even looked like him.
But could that be reason enough to give her own child up for adoption? It wasn't, she had to admit. But she felt like it was the best thing for him.
She felt like he would be better off with a family who loved him and treated him as he deserved. But was that really her choice to make? Was it for her to decide? Surely we have an obligation toward our children; to love them and, above all, protect them?
These were all the questions that haunted her. She was in desperate need of help and guidance. Even though there was the support of her current husband, she wasn't convinced that it was enough.
Much of the advice and comments she had received on her post all followed the same basic idea: Counselling.
One reply, from a user named RavenSong, suggested that a good therapist can help put things into perspective. The user even admitted to also having been for counselling and highly recommended it.
RavenSong added that speaking to her pastor, if she did go to church, could also help. If finances were an issue, she could visit community health centers that offer crisis counselling, often at no charge.
Another user remarked that she had to keep in mind her boy, who was her first priority. While she might have thought it to be her own best option, adoption might have been something that he would never recover from.
What about you? How do you feel about the situation and what advice would you give her?