- Former Starstruck finalist Jesi Corcuera confessed on Thursday the struggles he had to endure for becoming true to his self
- The transman PBB housemate described what he experienced and is experiencing as something confusing and hard
- He furthered that he never chooses to be like that, it just happened
A man trapped in a woman’s body.
That is how Jesi Corcuera, a transgender man housemate of Pinoy Big Brother, described his situation.
It was never easy for him. Being born to a body you do not identify with is like a fish living on land. The fish would never be happy as it was made for water.
In one of the reality show’s episodes, Jesi disclosed the feelings he has been keeping to himself for so long.
He confessed that when he was little, he would ignore the dresses his mother would buy for him and would rather borrow male clothing from his cousins.
As early as 11 years old, he already knew, though was still confused, that he is not a she. That was the time when he had a crush on a girl. Nevertheless, his young self was puzzled as they have the same gender.
Hoping that he might change, her mother took the courage to send him to an all-girls school. He was afraid he will lose his male friends. But it turned out differently because she got surrounded with girls.
"Natakot ako na mawawalan ako ng barkada na lalaki pero doon pa pala ako mage-enjoy (I feared I will lose my male friends but what happened was that’s where I actually enjoyed)," Corcuera quipped.
Eventually his family, especially his mother, has learned to embrace and accept his real self. When Corcuera decided to start a new beginning by having his breasts removed as the first step, his mother showed support.
Despite having no more secrets to hide and for finally coming out, Corcuera shared that he still gets judged. Some would label him as a “sinner” without even knowing him first in a deeper level.
"Hindi naman po namin ginusto iyong ganitong sitwasyon kasi kusa ko lang naramdaman, (We never choose to be in a situation like this because I just felt it," he said.
Up until now, he still suffers.
"Minsan nakikita ko sa sarili ko, hindi ko alam kung nagsisisi ako or what pero sobrang hirap po. Kung alam ko lang na hindi magiging madali iyong tatakbuhin ko sa ganitong karera, sana mas pinili ko na lang makinig sa gusto po ng magulang ko (Sometimes when I see myself, I don’t know if I am regretting or what but it’s difficult. If I only knew my race wouldn’t be easy, I should have listened to my parents)," the former Starstruck finalist said.
Watch his confession with Big Brother here.
Jesi Corcuera in It's Showtime. V
Video from ABS-CBN Entertainment
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