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Women have their own intimate secrets. But, sometimes they are not secrets anymore. Reddit user De_sente asks women “what’s the strangest thing you’ve masturbated with?” and here are some of the most peculiar women confessions:
Use umbrella where the sun doesn’t shine they say.
“When I was about twelve years old, I had one of those novelty umbrellas with a plastic cover that made it look like a sword. Now, around that time, I was slowly discovering that looping a hair tie around my wrists and pulling really hard made me feel weird. So, one night, I absent-mindedly did the same thing with the umbrella strap - some kind of sturdy cord that didn't give nearly as much.”
2. M&M minis
So sweet. It looks like M&M’s don’t only melt in your mouth.
“One of those tubes of M&M minis before I was old enough to buy a real sex toy. It worked well.”
Something smells fishy.
“You know how at the fair you can win those goldfish in a bag? Yeah I used that. I poured most of the water out the slipped it up inside the bag, the way it wiggled felt unreal. I've still got the fish but I never used it again.”
The question is which one: the stick or the broom head?
“My ex-girlfriend said that she used the harry potter broom stick once. It vibrates.”
5. Alarm Clock
Quality time it is.
“When I was younger I had an old school alarm clock, the one with two bells at the top and a little metal piece that flicks back and forth to go off. It somehow broke away from the clock head but still could be wound up for the flickering to work, I broke off the bells and needless to say I would spend several minutes getting to where I wanted to be, often having to stop to wind it back up again so on and so forth until I came. good times... (Pun intended)”Bottom of Form
6. Stuffed Toys
Looks like stuffed toys are the real one stop shop.
“When i was younger (late middle school/ early high school age i think???) i realised my old tickle me elmo doll felt very nice when it shook as it "laughed". so, being a creative youngster, i cut it open and took out the part that vibrated it. i unscrewed that and cut out the speakers so it wouldn't make that laughing noise every time you push the button, put it back together, and voila! lil me's first vibrator.”
“My ex told me she used to grind on her stuffed animals faces because their bead noses and eyes felt nice. When I visited her house, all her stuffed animal's faces were a little wonky. We had a good laugh about it.”
Shouldn’t it come with a fork, though?
“I made a contraption using a spoon with a thick plastic handle, and the spoon part cupping this little soft toy I had that had a pull string vibration motor in it. I'd have probably preferred it to be a motor with a battery but I just worked with what I had!”
Music fades in: through the fire, through the limit, through the wall…
“Those long candles. I was 15/16 and was interested in masturbation. I went into those AOL chatroom to get tips. Guy told me to try a candle. Hurt like hell.”
9. Bike Seat
What makes it a good ride?
“I was at a spinning class and my bike was a little wobbly, and somehow the cycling action was making my clit rub against my labia/the seat (through my pants and leggings of course) and I had an orgasm right there in spin. Luckily it's very dark in the spin room and I sit in the back row so nobody could tell. So uh, a bike seat.”
10. Bedpost Ball
It’s time to go to bed.
“I used to have a bed with a ball on the post (the post was only about 2 feet high and the ball on the post was quite small) and I remember using that.”
11. Knitting Needles
There's another reason to make knitting a habit.
“Knitting needles. I was super into knitting when I was like 15, and it helped with my anxiety. I used to take them to school and knit between classes. Wasn't long before I figured out the handle end was perf for hitting my g-spot. I remember in an IT class once, some asshole of a kid made a comment that I was like an old lady and probably masturbated with them. Hope he didn't notice how red I went.”
12. Perishables – cucumber, banana & carrot
Vegetarianism in a nutshell.
“I'm going to hell for this and I know it's not the strangest but I tried with a cucumber when I was 18 and when it didn't work out I just put it back in the fridge. Other than that I tried with a banana in a zip lock bag…mashed…all mashed.
“My mom once told me she masturbated with a carrot.”
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