The do’s and don’ts of socializing with your ex

The do’s and don’ts of socializing with your ex

After the breakup, the last person that you want to see after days of mourning for a dead relationship is your ex. This is just normal because a breakup, even when you cover it with gold and sprinkle it with fairy dust, is still a horrible affair.

Yes, there might be a small number of people who will tell you that their breakup is amicable, that everything is great, and they are still friends with their exes. People will say whatever they can to let others know that everything is smooth after the breakup, but deep down inside, they know that it is a humongous load of crap. There will always be a point after the breakup when their world collapses uncontrollably around them.

Socializing with an ex is unavoidable if you run with the same circle of friends, but there are things you can do to avoid the drama and prevent your friends from feeling awkward around you and your ex-love.

The do’s and don’ts of socializing with your ex

Know Your Motives

If you are attending a party that you know your ex is also invited to, you need to be honest with yourself about your real intentions in going to the event. If you are only going to make your ex and his or her new partner feel uncomfortable or just to make your ex rue the day he or she broke up with you, then it will be better not to attend the party.

Obviously, you are not emotionally prepared for the possible run-in, and your friends will understand if you will prefer not to part of the event. Although it is normal to show your ex that you are fine without him or her, be very honest with yourself if you can actually face your ex for the first time after the breakup. Take note that you are invited to the party to celebrate a friend’s important life event, and it will be rude if you screwed up things by making a scandal.

Surround Yourself with Friends

If not attending the event is not an option because say, it is your closest friend’s wedding, and you really need to be there, then you should surround yourself with a number of your friends to make you feel comfortable even when your ex is around.

There is safety in numbers, and this rings especially true when you have to socialize with your ex at an intimate gathering among friends. You might be placed at a table beside him or her—or worst, beside their partner—but if you have other friends to talk to, it will be a whole lot easier to be casual with your ex or his or her new partner.

Your Friends are not Ravens

Never make your friends the mediator or messenger between you and your ex. Even when you share the same circle of friends, using them as a messenger or mediator just to avoid dealing with your ex will make your friends uncomfortable. Your friends love both you and your ex, and it will be a complete disrespect if you will ask them to check where their loyalties lie. In the first place, they do not want to split their loyalties because they are both your friends, and as much as possible, they are trying their best to keep the atmosphere casual even when you and your ex are around. Getting them to send a message to your ex can only harm your friendship. If you do not want to speak with your ex, then avoid him or just stay silent instead of turning them into a message-bearing ravens.


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