Have you ever been one of those guys who have tried different ways to approach every girl at the bar and yet still end up being rejected? Are you first-rate jackass or a psycho pervert? If you do not fall into these categories and yet you still cannot find a prospect date at a bar, you probably have been making subtle mistakes that drive potential girlfriends away as possible from you.
Even when you dress up real nice and promise to put every person’s drink on your tab, there are these little things that you need to avoid to help land a spot on the table opposite women who frequent bars. Below are some of the ways to make sure that you go home with the girl you met in the bar.
Stop walking like a hungry predator
Remember that scene in Life of Pi where the hyena walks in a deranged fashion around the lifeboat? That is you whenever you enter the bar. You probably have envisioned yourself as Ryan Gosling bursting in every time you get past the bouncers, but the truth is women see you as a starved vulture looking for a prey. Yes, we get it that bars are great locations for checking out and hunting for chicks. But dude, don’t take the hunting part literally.
Stop channelling your inner hyena. Walking around the bar with the crazy eyes and that hungry look in your face will only scare the ladies away. Instead, you should position yourself in a good spot where you get a good view of the whole bar. Look around silently and calmly for a woman who might be interested in having you buy her a drink. Once you see her, approach her gently and ask her politely. If she is interested in chatting with you, ask her if you can buy her a drink and go from there. However, if you approach her and she recoils, you need to back off unless you want the bouncers to take you out of the bar without using the main door.
Always keep your alcohol at a minimum
You go to bars to drink, we get it. However, if your purpose for hitting the bars every Friday of the month is to drink and meet girls, then you need to tone down your drinking. Most guys believe that drinking improves their confidence in approaching girls. We agree, too. Alcohol, when taken at a minimum, makes men say things that they would not usually say when sober.
However, in alcohol-induced settings, drinking too much to gain confidence can turn any guy quickly from confident into drunk-weird. Men who drink too much end up becoming too aggressive when approaching women at bars. Moreover, they become creepier by the minute, not to mention that they reek of alcohol, which is not exactly what most women in their right state of mind consider desirable.
Look nice and friendly, not serious and creepy.
If you are a guy who looks like he is perpetually mad, then that is one huge factor why girls do not want to speak with you. Women, especially in social settings such as bars, are more receptive to men who are friendly and who wear an inviting smile. They are also more at ease speaking with men who smile sincerely rather than with guys whose faces have all the seriousness of Kim Jong-un.
If you want women to find you approachable and friendly, then you should start practicing how to flash a genuine smile. With genuine, we mean a smile that radiates friendliness and positivity. The friendliness signals sent by happy displays such as a smiling face stimulate trust and other approach-oriented behaviors from those who look at you. However, you also need to keep the smiling at the right level. Grinning a lot will make women think that you are either someone running for Congress or you just got off of your straight jacket.
Do not go for the sex talk at once. Go easy, tiger.
Women visit bars to have fun, drink with their friends, and possibly meet a decent and well-mannered guy. They do not just go to bars for the sole purpose of finding someone willing to get into their pants. Insinuating the sex talk in every conversation you have with a girl you meet at a bar is not exactly the best way to make your potential date attracted to you. Yes, there are women who prefer that you do not beat around the bush—women who want you to say in a rather straightforward manner that you want to hook up with them. However, not all women fancy having the sex talk all the time.